We are Louise & Matt. We live in Horsham and are parents to Frankie who is now 3 months old. We took the Happy Parents Happy Baby antenatal classes in Horsham.
I’m very grateful that my pregnancy was straightforward. I tried to go for walks regularly (even if it was for 5 minutes towards the end) and I found getting out in fresh air really helped me. HPHB was a great way to meet people locally for us, we’d only just moved to the area so didn’t know many people! I personally really enjoyed the hypnobirthing lesson and genuinely took this forward into my labour.
At home, in the bathroom. It wasn’t the planned location but I was in my own home, my safe space.
My birth was not as I had planned or imagined but I don’t think many are! My preference was a water birth in a birthing suite but I didn’t actually make it as far as the hospital! I woke around 2am with what I would describe as ‘period pains’ and Matt was in London working a night shift. I called him to tell him to make his way home. Baby boy Frankie had other ideas and ended up arriving on our bathroom floor at 3:40am before Matt or the ambulance!
Of course this was all a massive whirlwind and it happened extremely quickly and I’m not sharing this story as a negative or scary birth story in any way! In fact, I look at it as a positive and although I was on my own and had no pain relief, I did it! The female body is AMAZING and if you believe you can, focus on your breathing and listen to your body you will be absolutely fine. You’ve got this! We also didn’t find out the gender and Matt arrived home a few minutes after Frankie was born. I waited for him and we looked to see what gender our baby was and that moment was incredibly special.
I had a warm bath to start with – this really helped with the initial pain. This was a 2/5.
I then found sitting on the toilet the most comfortable once I’d got out of the bath. I honestly spent maybe 80-90% of my labour sitting on the toilet. This was a 4/5 for comfortable positioning. Due to being at home on my own I didn’t get any pain relief so I had to focus on my breathing. This was SO important.
It was the most incredible and magical moment that I’ll treasure forever. Not finding out the gender was amazing too and both looking to see we had a baby boy was everything.
The midwives were really helpful with getting to grips with feeding – don’t be scared to ask them for help!! One helped me to express colostrum when I was struggling and I was so grateful for her. You’re tired but it’s a different kind of tired – you sleep when you can but that’s fine. The nighttime cuddles make it worth it!! Take your time with recovery and letting visitors round – we waited nearly a week before people came over but I wish we’d waited longer. That newborn bubble as a three is so so special.
Frankie is just about 3 months and he smiles and laughs and it is EVERYTHING. I cannot explain that feeling or put it into words. Watching your baby be so happy is all you could ever wish for.
Frankie really struggled with feeding and it turned out he had a very bad tongue tie and also a cow’s milk protein allergy. The allergy was only something we discovered at around 6 weeks so those first few weeks were tough. He was in pain, wouldn’t feed properly, covered in a rash and so unsettled. It’s taken about a month to see all of the side effects go and I’ve completely changed my diet but it’s worth it!! Go with your gut and instinct if something doesn’t seem right to you!
It may seem small but getting out of the house everyday. It really does take a long time to get out of the house but you get used to it and it really does build your confidence. The fresh air, strong coffee and if you’re able to meet up with someone just to have a chat really really helps!
I guess I found it a lot harder when Matt went back to work than I thought I would (emotionally). I’m normally incredibly emotionally controlled but having Frankie has changed me so much. I found it tough knowing he was so far away at work each day but I’ve learnt to be open and talk about my feelings more with him and this has been really helpful.
Matt and I have become really close with one couple in particular. I see her pretty much every week and we chat everyday. I cannot emphasise enough that I would be completely and utterly lost without her. She’s become one of my best friends and I’m so so grateful that we met. We go on walks as a two with the babies, double dates and even met up whilst away on holiday! Having someone to text in the night, ask ‘silly’ questions to and have a rant to (when needed) has been so important.
I’d packed lots of strappy nighties that were great to wear / feed in!
A warm shower (bring a nice soft towel) and some sweet treats!!
Cook ready meals!! Or any home cooked food that can go in the oven / microwave or be frozen were so helpful.
Our baby carrier! Frankie hates the pram but loves being in a carrier! We go on lovely walks and he naps for hours in it – it’s a godsend!
Be confident in yourself and your decisions! Don’t be afraid to go out even if it’s just for walk around the block – it really does help and it builds your confidence!
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