We are Charlotte and Joe. Charlotte works in Brand marketing and Joe is a Chartered Surveyor. We are parents to baby girl Lyla and dog Bruce. We took the Happy Parents Happy Baby antenatal classes in Dulwich.
Generally the pregnancy was relatively straightforward with nausea in the first trimester, more energy in the second trimester and then an uncomfortable third trimester with pelvic girdle pain. At 20 weeks I was told that I had a short cervix and had to take progesterone pessaries until 34 weeks to prevent possible preterm birth, which wasn’t fun and added to my anxiety throughout the pregnancy. However, I ended up carrying to full term – 40 + 3! The preparation insight from the HPHB course helped me to manage my anxiety throughout the pregnancy and control what can be controlled.
Kings Hospital Labour ward – I was so impressed with the midwives and doctors that helped to safely bring my baby into the world. Despite some of the challenges of the birth, I never felt that anything was out of control. The team at Kings are amazing and I couldn’t be more grateful to them.
The birth was challenging as I was in labour for 36 hours! Initially I wanted a water birth with no pain relief, however after 24 hours of no pain relief I was exhausted and in a lot of discomfort. I also needed to be moved from the MAU to the labour ward due to blood loss and needing to monitor the baby. After 24 hours I opted for an epidural – thanks to the HPHB course I felt confident in understanding the pain relief options and knowing what I would and wouldn’t be comfortable with. The final hour was intense with increased blood loss and the baby’s heart rate increasing rapidly. The room quickly filled with doctors to support and prepare for all possible outcomes (some were prepping for an emergency C section). I ended up having an episiotomy and assisted ventouse delivery, but eventually I met my baby girl and all the stress and worry melted away when I knew she was safe and well.
Breathing techniques – 4/5. Was really helpful to focus on breathing during the early stages of labour
TENS – 1/5. I know lots of people swear by it but it wasn’t for me. I didn’t really understand why I was adding more discomfort to the equation!
Birthing pool – 3/5. Even though I didn’t have a water birth, I used the pool for around an hour and it helped to take the weight off and feel more relaxed.
Epidural – 5/5. I don’t know why I resisted it for so long! It completely took the pain away and allowed me to get some much needed rest before pushing.
Pure relief! I was so happy that she was healthy and arrived earth-side safely.
Lack of sleep has been the biggest challenge. That combined with the increased hormones has made for a few wobbles and tears, but having a supportive partner and some naps make the world of difference.
Recovery from birth has been ok – thankfully after learning about recovery on the HPHB course I wasn’t surprised by the night sweats or length of time the post-birth bleeding would be. It was all so helpful.
Sometimes it still doesn’t feel real that I’ve made this tiny human that’s half me, but it is the best feeling and I fall more in love with her every day.
Breastfeeding – the first couple of weeks were the hardest as my nipples got very sore and damaged. But I have kept going and I’m very lucky that she feeds so well.
Sleep – we still haven’t cracked this yet and I’m a bit anxious about my partner going back to work and how lack of sleep will affect things. However I keep telling myself that this stage won’t last long and (hopefully) soon the sleep will get better.
Staying strong as a couple – the complete change in lifestyle is a lot to deal with and I’m proud that Joe and I have kept an open dialogue and keep checking in with each other, giving each other space, comfort and time alone when needed.
Cluster feeds – some days I can be breast feeding literally all day with little break!
It’s been so nice and one of the most helpful things to have a group of parents locally who are in the same boat as us. Pre-birth we went to pregnancy exercise classes together and post-birth we have made sure to stay in touch and support each other with advice – it’s so comforting to know you’re not alone.
Portable fan – the labour ward was quite warm and coupled with the sickness, having a fan really helped me to cool down and relax.
After not eating or being able to keep any food down for 36 hours, eating a simple tomato soup and bread roll felt like the best thing in the world.
COOK vouchers! The easy freezer meals have been a lifesaver.
Swaddle – helps massively with getting her to settle for bed.
Don’t put any pressure on yourself to get into a routine or be ‘productive’ in the day. You just grew and delivered a human – you’re already a superhero and doing amazingly!
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