We’re Caitlin and Nik, Americans who have been living in London for 15+ years. We live in Walthamstow with our shar-pei Suki. We attended the Walthamstow course.
Other than persistent low blood sugar, my pregnancy was pretty easy and complication free. I was most excited to join HPHB because we had recently moved to a new area and were keen to meet other couples expecting a baby like us.
Lilac Centre at Whipps Cross – I had to get special clearance to do so because of my age, but I’m very glad that I did because I ended up really making use of the extra space.
Using info from HPHB and other sources, I was extremely meticulous about my pregnancy and birth plan. My goal was to be as physically and mentally prepared for birth as possible so I was diligent about kegels, perineal massage, meditation, hospital bag packing, etc. I think it helped give me a sense of control over the unknown. But in spite of all of that, I had a precipitous birth, meaning I very suddenly went into active labour – it was exactly three hours from start to finish, and I feel lucky my baby wasn’t born in the Uber! The whole experience was extremely intense, with contractions coming much faster than is typical. I also couldn’t have any pain relief.
So in spite of my meticulous planning, the only thing I ended up using from my hospital bag was a scrunchie! Still, I’m very, very glad I did my physical exercises because I think it spared me from serious birth injury, which is much more likely to happen during precipitous labour. I also think my birth was kind of like a metaphor for parenting – no matter how hard you prepare and plan, life is going to surprise you.
I rented a TENS machine, planned for a water birth, packed scented massage oils, etc. I was also open to an epidural. But because of the type of delivery I had, there was no time to do any of it. I just had to live through the pain – and then it was over. It’s amazing how instant the relief was!
The moment I heard him cry was the best – even though I hadn’t yet seen him, I instinctively knew he was okay. Then I had a postpartum hemorraghe and was in mild physical shock when he was put on my chest. He immediately started rooting and shaking his head and I wasn’t prepared for that! But I thought he was adorable, of course.
I honestly can’t remember the first days very well. I think the adrenaline and sleeplessness really got to me.
I’m so happy that my baby seems happy. He smiled and laughed really early, is easy to soothe, and very curious about everything. It means a lot to me to be able to give him a happy, safe childhood.
Between me and my partner, we have a lot of relatives living abroad who want to visit and be hosted in our home. This is really stressful, as I don’t feel like I’m in any position to host. Some people really don’t want to listen.
I’ll restate what I said above – to see my baby recognizing me, smiling, and laughing at three weeks. It makes it all worth it.
I wish I had known more about feeding. In the hospital, a parade of midwives kept trying to get my baby to latch. He was red in the face screaming and both of us were exhausted – we barely got any sleep for the 36 hours we were there. They sent us home with a finger feeder and basically no instructions on what to do next. I assumed breastfeeding would happen a lot easier so I hadn’t done a ton of research and thought the ship might’ve sailed on breastfeeding.
Not lining up a lactation consultant in advance (and ignoring friends who recommended this).
We hang out a lot! It’s great to hear other people’s stories, especially when they’re going through the same things you are. But above all, they really helped me get back on track with trying to breastfeed my son. Lots of us had trouble breastfeeding at first and knowing this led me to order a pump, find a lactation consultant, and keep trying. I think I might’ve given up if I hadn’t realised how common feeding struggles are.
Scrunchie (for delivery) and pillow (for post-delivery). I also bought a light projector with a bluetooth speaker, which was nice for giving the post-birth suite a little ambience.
Uhhhh, I delivered at midnight and got a bowl of Corn Flakes at 8am. The 36 hours we spent in the hospital after the birth were really uncomfortable. I pretty much lived off of the cream crackers I had packed for myself.
Baby Bjorn bouncer was a lot better than we thought. And I bought a Dockatot on a whim which was a lifesaver for the first month.
The Dockatot was critical in the early days. Big Muslin swaddling cloths double as blankets and spit-up towels. We love our night sky projector, as Miro has been watching it since he was born and it provides a nice nighttime ritual.
Scout out a lactation consultant BEFORE you deliver! Discuss with parents and other relatives your expectations for visits (and stipulate that they might change once you actually have the baby and know what it’s like). And join an antenatal group with great reviews like HPHB.
Free downloadable resources and weekly guides for your pregnancy.
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