Hello. We are Katie and Ian and both work in the charity sector. We have our baby Ruan (3 months) and our two cats, Mushroom and Squash. We took the Happy Parents Happy Baby antenatal classes in Keynsham.
The first half of my pregnancy I suffered with quite severe nausea and sickness, some days unable to keep anything down at all. This on top of the exhaustion made it a bit of a rocky start where I just tried to make it through each day, and so I struggled to feel excited. I didn’t have a lot of headspace for baby stuff – both the mental prep as well as the practical side of buying nursery & birth stuff – so felt very unprepared! As I moved into the third trimester I started to feel a little better and the anti sickness tablets were taking effect. The HPHB course really helped me do the mental prep, work out what kind of birth I wanted and how to verbalise it, understand the labour process, and get to grips with some of the practical baby items like slings. It was also the first real chance I’d had to be around others who were also expecting their first and share experiences.
I started to finally feel excited and enjoy the pregnancy, and felt more confident about labour and looking after a newborn! In particular, understanding the different stages of labour and the mechanics behind them (especially what a contraction actually is!) really helped me feel better about it.
Mendip Birth Centre. It was exactly what I was hoping for – a very calm, relaxing room with soft lighting, relaxing music, different options for labouring whilst keeping active, including a pool. The midwives there were so lovely, respectful, and supportive of any decisions or requests we had.
5 days before the due date I repacked my hospital bag with the HPHB list. It helped me check I had the essentials without being over packed (didn’t want to be scrabbling around bags during labour!). Lucky, as that evening was when I went into labour! I had what I thought was Braxton Hicks except this time it was a little painful at the bottom of my bump. As the evening went on they got more intense & closer together. I began breathing my way through them instinctively – the practice I’d done on the techniques covered in HPHB really paid off. I was also surprised how much simply moving around or rocking helped with them!
We arrived at the birth centre at 1am and the room had been set up with soft mood lighting and relaxing music. I made sure I kept the UFO position for the next few hours while I laboured walking the room, leaning occasionally on the bed or floor mat. My partner & I were able to tell the midwives exactly what support we’d like & preferences when it came to things like pain management etc. I was offered internal exams but declined as I didn’t want to break my concentration which the midwives were super lovely about. Later, I was tired from standing so I used the birth pool for a while. I then moved to the floor mat on my hands and knees as this felt most comfortable and began to push. I pushed the baby out half an hour later, all healthy and happy. I was just so surprised at how calm and in control I’d felt through the entire process as I knew what was happening and could decide what I did and didn’t want. An all round positive experience!
Breathing techniques (up breathing, down breathing): 5/5, and the main thing that kept me focused through each contraction. I literally counted my way through them and had a rough idea how long I had to bear each one, which helped keep it manageable.
UFO positions: 5/5, again made each contraction more manageable. I found standing leaning forward on a bed/object whilst rocking my hips side to side was the most helpful.
Gas & air: 3/5, I had some gas and air towards the end & when I started pushing, but found that it made me lose focus. I couldn’t keep count or concentrate on using my muscles effectively. It did ease the pain a little though. I used it for a short time then stopped.
Aromatherapy, relaxing music, dim lights: again 5/5, these all helped set a very calm atmosphere and keep me feeling positive and in control.
Birth pool: 4/5, it helped ease the pain and allowed me to rest a little after standing for so long, but I felt it slowed contractions down towards the end.
I felt a huge mix of relief, disbelief, happiness – that he was finally here, that I’d actually done it, that he was ok, and that we had our own little baby. It felt surreal and almost dreamlike.
The first few days were definitely a learning curve for both of us. For the first 24 hours, Ruan would rarely wake even for a feed and even when woken and put on the breast, he would just fall back to sleep. I was worried about him getting dehydrated so I used some colostrum I’d managed to express when pregnant. I syringed some into his mouth which triggered him to feed after a few goes. Although I was a little worried, I felt able to handle this from the discussions we’d had around feeding.
Ruan also wouldn’t sleep unless he was on one of us at first, so my partner and I took turns doing shifts while the other slept. This actually worked quite well if we planned for it and we each were able to get some rest. Thankfully he was sleeping in his next-to-me cot after a few days. He was born in a heatwave and our room was quite hot so I did spend a lot of time checking the safe sleep recommendations and the room temp! One thing I found particularly useful was our antenatal WhatsApp group. It was great to have other people who were going through the same thing that you could message at 3am, when you’re worrying away. We shared tips on recovery, feeding, baby items & gadgets that were handy as well. It definitely made us feel less alone on figuring things out!
Getting the hang of breastfeeding! It took a bit of getting used to, how to latch, how often, and how to read baby’s hunger cues, but we got there.
Feeding myself! I can keep the baby sorted, but trying to make food for myself whilst juggling the baby’s needs was harder than I’d thought. And it’s rare I can drink a cup of tea while it’s still hot!
Doing a trip out of the house by myself with a 2 week old. It was only to the shop and back, but it felt so scary with all the ‘what if’s’ (what if he starts screaming and I can’t console him etc) but it was uneventful and after I felt more capable.
How quickly babies change! One moment you feel you’re on top of things and the next they grow or learn a new skill. Then the routine goes out the window and you’re googling how long is ok for them to go without pooping.
Photos! I didn’t think I’d want photos during labour so I told my partner not to bother. I thought I’d look a mess and would be mostly naked so wouldn’t share them anywhere, and would just want to concentrate on contractions. Now though I do wish I’d had some. It feels like such a surreal experience, I would like to look back on some photos to see what it was like from an external perspective, even if they’re not shared with anyone.
They’ve been great in sharing worries, tips, leaning on for support or just venting when you need to offload. We’ve had a few meet ups with all our babies and it’s just really nice to be part of a group of people who are going through the same as you are right now.
Handheld fan – highly recommended if giving birth in mid-July during a heatwave!
Takeaway! First night home, we got a greek takeaway and the courgette fritters felt like the best thing I’d ever eaten!
A wipe clean changing mat! We’d already bought a nice foldable fabric baby change mat, but MIL gave us an inexpensive wipe clean one. This has saved so much mess! The amount of times he’d poop or pee while we were in the middle of changing him…and that yellow baby poop goes eeeverywhere!
Not so much a physical item – but the Huckleberry app! It’s been invaluable for tracking feeds, nappies, sleeps! There’s no way in my sleep deprived state that I’d have been able to remember when I’d last fed or changed him. And both my partner and I could add to it so it made sharing the responsibilities much easier!
You will worry – about big things and small things. No matter how much people reassure you, you will worry. Just try and talk about your worries with someone you trust, not to look for answers but to get it off your chest. It just helps to talk, no matter how small or silly or irrational you might think it is.
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