Hello. We are Anna and Jose, we’re parents to Ben. We took the Happy Parents Happy Baby antenatal classes in Cambridge.
Pregnancy was difficult – we had challenging life circumstances and I ended up being diagnosed with prenatal anxiety and depression in the first trimester. By the third trimester it went away, but then I developed gestational high blood pressure. Other than that it was fairly smooth – physically and emotionally.
I spent 2 nights in hospital at around 31 weeks to be monitored for high BP and have been medicated for it since then (I am 6 weeks postpartum). Before the hospital stay I was anxious about each BP reading, as there was a risk that if I medicated for high blood pressure I couldn’t be in the midwife- led unit and therefore couldn’t have the waterbirth I wanted. Once I was medicalised I wasn’t anxious anymore as the choice had been taken away from me – the pregnancy was high risk so I would definitely be in the delivery unit.
The Rosie, delivery unit.
At 37+6, the high blood pressure that had been problematic for weeks (I was visiting triage almost every day towards the end for spikes in BP readings), tipped into pre-eclampsia. I was recommended to have an induction. It wasn’t a surprise as I’d been in and out of hospital so much I was expecting it. I was induced on Monday evening around 11pm with the pessary. I asked what times I was being monitored/issued meds. With this info I could leave the ward for walks outside without worrying I would miss things. At dinner time I wasn’t hungry and we didn’t think labour would start anytime soon – I had coleslaw and paracetamol for dinner.
At 10pm my waters broke. I *really* wish I had eaten then. Contractions started fairly soon after – like overenthusiastic period cramps. I managed to listen to music for about an hour before waking my partner. The cramps got stronger quickly, but we were told they got worse before settling. The breathing that we learnt and practised at HPHB was invaluable, it was easily the best thing we learnt. My total labour time was 1 hour and 19 minutes. There was no time for an epidural. I felt really certain that I would not be able to give birth – but we learnt in HPHB that this feeling is normal so I was both sure I could do it and sure it was impossible. All with the caveat that my labour was incredibly fast (1 hour 19 mins).
Pelvic floor exercises – 5/5. If learnt only one thing from HBHP it would be this. Having a strong pelvic floor meant I could follow the instruction to push/ stop pushing which gave me a sense of control.
Breathing techniques – 5/5. I used these throughout labour and I know I would have panicked without this.
Positions – it’s great we learnt some but this was very intuitive for me. I changed position a lot so probably 5/5 even though I wasn’t comfortable at all.
Paracetamol – 0/5. Cute, but completely ineffective.
Gas and air – 10/5. Contractions were stacking, I’d had coleslaw for dinner. I couldn’t have it for ages because they couldn’t find a mask, so when I finally got it, I was fairly desperate and very pleased I could have it. I regained the confidence that I could push the baby out.
I have never been more shocked in my life. I felt instantly incredibly protective over my baby, but I did not have a surge of love for him. After skin to skin and feeding, my partner took him whilst I slept.
The first 5 days were in hospital due to uncontrolled BP.
Knowledge from the course that we used;
– It’s okay and not annoying to advocate for yourself
– The hormone crash is real and difficult but temporary
– Write a birth plan, and be prepared for this to go totally out the window
– Your partner is your biggest advocate – before, during and after birth.
Expectation management about when we would get out of hospital. I just needed 3 good blood pressure readings in a row. I wish we’d been told that it’s really hard to get blood pressure medication right as each high reading added another 24 hours to our stay. We didn’t know it was hard to get right, so every reading we got our hopes up a lot. On day 3 a midwife said it took a while, after that it was better.
Overcoming the complete certainty that I couldn’t push the baby out, by deciding I could just go for it, and push the baby out.
To have a labour of 1 hour and 19 minutes.
Not writing down the names of all the staff members who helped us during our 7 day stay. It’s harder to write thank you cards without the names!
Oh my god immensely. It’s definitely a case of the blind leading the blind but it’s so good to have people at the same stage as you.
Our own lamps – hospital lighting is harsh. Own sleeping pillow, own BB hug me pillow.
Rum and coke.
Years supply of baby clothes – our friend was a ‘one and done’ couple and we received everything. Yay! Also, freezee post partum pads. Game changer.
Baby carrier.
Do you pelvic floor exercises! Everything can change on a dime, be nice to the staff, remember that you’re allowed to leave the ward, pre-eclampsia/ high blood pressure takes time to control after birth – if you’ve got it – be prepared for a multi day stay.
Free downloadable resources and weekly guides for your pregnancy.
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