We are Chantel and Josh, we both work with vulnerable children and we are parents to our Marley who is currently 5 months! We took the Happy Parents Happy Baby antenatal classes in Clapham.
Pregnancy was really tough for me as I experienced Hyperemesis Gravidarum. I remember feeling very physically weak and emotionally deflated, counting down the days until my due date. Attending our first session of HPHB made me feel validated and part of a community of shared experiences. I remember all the helpful tips shared amongst the pregnant mamas – essentially Gaviscon is your friend, tomato based food are not your friend and H&M do the cutest maternity clothing!
I also found the HPHB online videos really helpful because all of the information was available anytime that was convenient for us. It didn’t feel like we had to retain all of the information from the evening session, we could watch the videos whenever we needed.
St Thomas’ Hospital, the setting was positive!
The best HPHB tip for me was “be open minded, have birth preferences and advocate for them but equally your baby will come when your baby is ready”. As someone who loves a plan I found this reassuring and felt able to let go of the rigidity and feel confident knowing our baby will come and my body will do exactly what it needs to do when it needs to. My preferences were to go in the birthing pool at some point – this didn’t happen and for Josh to offer massage throughout. But during labour I just wanted him to hold my hand. My preference was a vaginal delivery – this didn’t happen, and I was open minded about an Epidural – this absolutely did happen! The message from HPHB meant that when things didn’t go as I had preferred, I remained relaxed, calm and felt able to ask the questions I needed to.
My biggest fear was how I would get to the hospital, living in London. What if the taxi didn’t come? What if there was traffic? The HPHB strategy plan really helped me with this! Although as it turned out I had a scheduled induction so Josh and I hopped on the number 77 bus with my suitcase off to the hospital after some delicious pastries and OJ at home. My induction began at 1pm on 28th April and Marley was born by Caesarean delivery on 29th April at 18:32. I have fond memories of being in labour, I was surrounded by Josh, midwives and doctors and it felt like I was their favourite football team and they were cheering me on!
Breathing techniques & affirmations 5/5 – during pregnancy, 3/5 during labour. As I had an induction the initial discomfort was hard for me.
TENS 3/5 – I found it was relieving but slightly difficult to control during the early stages of labour.
Gas & Air 3/5 – a good relief at the beginning when contractions aren’t at their strongest.
Epidural 5/5 – this gave me calmness, control, rest, and time for conversations with Josh and the midwives that I found empowering.
I remember hearing the initial cry and asking “is he ok?”. The answer came quick, and in the cheeriest tone as the midwife said “your baby boy is perfect”. I remember thinking how great that he’s been in the world for a matter of seconds and already two people think he’s perfect. I felt love, elation, proudness and connection all rolled into 1 and times by 100!
The first few days of being Marley’s mum I found really tough. I was tired and needed sleep but didn’t want to stop looking at my baby – how he had been inside me, I had grown him and he was here! I felt like I deserved a medal and a pat on the back but instead I got black tar-like pooey nappies, no sleep and decaffeinated tea! On our first night home we treated ourselves to a takeaway curry which I had been craving so much! The problem with craving a curry and not wanting to put Marley down meant his tiny sparkling white onesie was a canvas for Tikka Masala sauce. What I learnt at HPHB made this situation comical as opposed to feeling like I’d done something wrong. I was a new mum, loving my baby, trying my best and being kind to myself and the stages of recovery were important. Being a part of the HPHB group allowed me to know it was going to be tough but that you get through it and there is so much joy at the end of the tunnel.
Growing, birthing and caring for Marley!
Not having family locally that can offer a helping hand.
Marley’s first smile, and in the morning when he looks at me and becomes excited.
Having to balance caring for Marley and recovering from a Caesarean birth.
They’re a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen to, and only ever a WhatsApp away from telling me it’ll all be ok.
Earplugs and your own pillow!
Chicken Tikka Masala with Champagne.
Gift vouchers for when Marley needed new clothes and you didn’t have to think where they’d come from!
Zip sleepsuits! They made the night time changes so much easier.
You can do it!
Free downloadable resources and weekly guides for your pregnancy.
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