Laura’s Breastfeeding Story.

I always wanted to breastfeed George and had heard it was hard but having a difficult job and never one to shy away from a challenge, I sat through my breastfeeding course thinking ‘I can do this’.

When George arrived the midwives helped me try to feed him and I remember feeling overwhelmed with emotion that he latched instantly and it felt amazing. Over the next few days in hospital I was feeding on demand (every 2 hours or so) but I could tell George wasn’t satisfied and seemed hungry. The younger midwives told me to ‘hang in there’ and thought it was because my milk hadn’t come in yet, but the older ones suggested I top up George’s feeds with formula. I remember being so torn and disappointed, I wanted to be everything my baby needed but I didn’t want him to be hungry so I gave him some formula (30 ml or so) after every breastfeed. It turned out that my milk had not ‘come in’ at that point - the 36 hour induced labour is not the ideal way to help your body be relaxed and well hydrated to encourage this, or a good milk supply!

We had to stay in hospital for 5 days for antibiotics so my milk ‘came in’ then and we were incredibly lucky to receive help from the midwives on the latch. I felt so proud when they said it was ‘textbook’, so we left hospital thinking we had breastfeeding down and some proper sleep in my own bed would also help boost my supply. I continued breastfeeding George then offering him formula afterwards to top him up. Unfortunately despite my best efforts after 10 days we were referred to hospital as George had lost too much weight. Although his latch was perfect to start with, it would slip throughout the feed and get incredibly uncomfortable.

I fed through the pain and tried everything - nipple shields, creams, positions, to help him retain the latch. I remember crying a lot during those first 4 weeks and it was 90% due to our breastfeeding struggles.

We were advised to go to a specialist local breast feeding clinic, so I hung a lot of hope on that offering some improvements. I can remember the lovely lady there trying desperately to help us but I could tell she was clutching at straws as to what was wrong. She suggested he might have a tongue tie - a diagnosis with I have heard a disturbing amount of mothers told when breastfeeding isn’t going to plan. She thought that George had a minor posterior tie, not the more obvious anterior tie (which prevents feeding), but we later obtained a second opinion who disagreed with her. She also set out her plan to help me increase my supply which consisted of me feeding every 3 hours and pumping in between for 30 minutes.

At this time I was exhausted and to be told I wouldn’t be able to sleep for more than an hour was too much. We were also told to drop the formula, but I knew that was keeping my baby happy and full and I wasn’t willing to effectively starve him until my milk hopefully increased. I remember feeling incredibly disappointed at this stage and so worried that I wasn’t doing the best for my baby.

The NHS loves the ‘breast is best’ slogan and I really wanted to know what I was denying George if I couldn’t breastfeed. So I read lots of articles and journals on the scientific research behind ‘breast is best’. I would urge anyone struggling with breastfeeding or who is feeling like a failure for wanting to quit to look into those studies.

I wish more support groups and pages would provide a balanced view. If I am honest I heard/read the ‘fed is best’ message but didn’t really believe it until I read up on the scientific research myself. After 6 weeks George started screaming on the breast and wouldn’t feed from me at all so he effectively chose formula. He is now 6 months old and a gorgeous, healthy baby boy. Our relationship is so special and I couldn’t love him any more. If I am lucky enough to have a second baby I would definitely take formula to hospital with me. I will try to breastfeed for as long as it works for us both but if it doesn’t I am ok with that.