A positive twin delivery: Hugo and Rory’s birth story

Tell us about your family…

We are Finn & Noel
Our twins Hugo & Rory are 9 months old
We also live with our 15-year-old Chihuahua Dagmar

Describe your household in three words

Fun, chill, loving

What is your favourite thing about being a twin parent?

Watching identical twins grow and develop their own personalities, mannerisms, and facial expressions is fascinating. They make us laugh every day.

What are your top tips for preparing for a twin birth?

Although such a momentous occasion, the actual birth is such a small part of parenthood. I took a "go with the flow" approach. If I had only had one baby, I would have wanted a water birth but this was not possible (or not easy) with twins. I decided to follow the recommendations of the professionals. In many ways this cut down on the stress. Another thing I would keep in mind is that you might be in the hospital for longer than you anticipated. I was in for 10 days as one of the twins battled jaundice. I would recommend preparing for this scenario. In terms of preparing your body, I didn't do anything really. I just tried to be mindful and as relaxed as possible leading up to my induction.

Tell us about your birth?

I was induced at 36.5 weeks. The first application of hormone gel worked, and I was 10 cm dilated about 13 hours after being induced. I opted for the epidural, which I'm glad I did because Hugo required some intervention (they tried forceps, then did the suction cup). Rory was born 58 minutes later, without intervention.

Did it differ from what you planned/expected?

I didn't expect to have such a short labour. I also didn't realise that you can still feel pressure and move your legs when you get the epidural. I liked that I could tell when I was having a contraction so I knew when to push. I also knew that pushing would be tiresome, but it took every ounce of strength I had to do it twice! I didn't know that a lot of women are sick afterward.

What are your top tips for giving birth to twins?

Prepare for a longer stay in the hospital than a single birth. Bring an iPad or laptop for watching something that will take your mind off things. While in labour, speak up for yourself, as it can get quite chaotic once the pushing starts. At one point after the first baby came out I felt myself getting close to passing out but no one would listen to me. And while you should speak up for yourself, at the same time don't be too rigid when it comes to your birth plan because things can change quickly and you need to do what's right for you and the babies. Lastly, prepare for the most insane emotional rollercoaster in the few days after giving birth. At one point I thought I would never stop crying (good and bad tears). Your hormones are going crazy, and that's normal. Don't fight it! Oh, and one more thing: the nurses and midwives will each have their own advice and sometimes it contradicts what another midwife might tell you. I found this confusing at times, so maybe prepare to receive different pieces of advice from different people.

How were the early weeks with the twins?

I'm sure I'll have the most common answer which is that it's such a blur. I remember feeling overwhelming joy every time I looked at them, and just being in complete awe of them. The lack of sleep takes its toll, but I had mentally prepared for it. Because I was mixed feeding from the beginning, my partner was able to do one of the feeds so that I could get some extra rest (I highly recommend that). The hardest part of those first few weeks by far was breastfeeding. I didn't produce a lot, and was constantly stressing about how much I was pumping/feeding them. I think society puts an enormous amount of pressure on women to breastfeed, so when I couldn't produce enough for the twins, I was very upset. It took me a while to be okay with supplementing formula.

What have been your biggest challenges?

Breastfeeding, as I mentioned above, was probably the greatest challenge for me personally. Another challenge is just the wide range of advice you might receive on any given subject. Every opinion/experience differs, and it took me a while to find my own path. Weaning has also been challenging - it's the ONE thing I had a concrete plan for, and of course it did not work out. I wanted to do baby-led weaning but we've had to do a more traditional approach with purees.

What have been your biggest triumphs?

The fact that the boys are happy and healthy is enough of a triumph for me! And a close second is that they have been sleeping through the night for a few months now. One of them just naturally started sleeping 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. and the other just need some very mild sleep training (it only took one night) to get him to self-settle. I thought it would be difficult (and that we'd have to "cry it out") but that wasn't the case at all. I think maybe we were very lucky and have some naturally good sleepers. We also got rid of the dummies around 6 months which I'm also glad we did early on.

What products have you not been able to live without?

The Love to Dream swaddles I think helped the twins sleep. We used them religiously until they started to roll over. Our Tommee Tippee Perfect Prep machine - we bring it on trips with us! It comes in extremely handy if you're using formula. In the first few months, a good twin pillow really helped. I could put it in my lap and feed them both at the same time, or it could be a good place to put them because they each nestled into their side (the one I had looked like a giant "m"). A temperature gun is a good tool to have, because you can take their temp without going into their ear or in their mouth. There was also a muslin we got in a newborn sensory kit that they loved - it was black and white and had animal faces on it. They loved to stare at it, and it would often calm them instantly.

Any other resources you would recommend for twin parents?

Honestly, I found the internet overwhelming. I even deleted the Wonder Weeks app because it stressed me out about their development. Twins are often behind normal development schedules. I do think that joining Twins Trust is helpful. They have loads of discounts and other resources.

What were your favourite things about your HPHB course?

First and foremost it introduced me to a wonderful group of mums who still meet up once a week! I don't think I would have survived those early weeks without our WhatsApp group. We're constantly (pretty much daily) sharing advice and supporting one another. I also really appreciated the hospital bag checklist (seems like such a small thing but I would have been majorly unprepared without it!)