A positive second labour: Emilia’s birth story
My first pregnancy with my ex-husband was with IVF and it took a few cycles before it was successful. Each time was stressful but the pregnancy was fine. I attended the NHS antenatal classes which were great, but I now realise just how under prepared I was.
When David and I (new husband) discussed children, I had stressed just how difficult getting pregnant was going to be! Although, we were fortunate that this pregnancy happened completely naturally after the first time of trying!
I had a pretty easy pregnancy on the whole. I suffered with morning sickness the whole time as a result of low blood sugar, but managed to find a way to control it. I also managed to stay pretty active too; I knew from my first pregnancy, that I needed to keep as fit as possible.
I had been considering a home birth the whole time. I wanted David to be comfortable. If he was happy, it would be one less worry! I was also happy with the drugs that would be available with a home birth. However, in the end we decided a birthing suite at the MLU would be best.
My birth was amazing, and I will always look back with fond memories!!! I realised during the HPHB classes that I had panicked and lost control during my first labour and I knew this time I wanted labour to be different - I wanted to be upright, active and I really wanted a water birth.
HPHB helped me create a birthing plan that considered everything in chunks of time, while planning for changing scenarios. Most importantly, David learnt how he could support me through the process and the importance of keeping calm.
When the labour started, David calmly prepared the car and we ate and talked. We were advised to visit the hospital after my waters broke, but as the surges were not regular and still manageable so we were sent home and told to wait until there were 3-4 surges every 10 mins for an hour.
I felt in control, so stayed at home until I could feel pressure in my bum, but the surges were still only 4 mins apart. Knowing the signs, I called the midwife and we went to the hospital. David remained very calm and kept telling me where we were on the journey. Realising the urgency when we arrived, I told David to dump the car at the entrance and to leave the bags. He ran me in a wheelchair to the birthing suite.
Fortunately, the midwifes had the pool ready for me. I was quickly examined before I was allowed to get in. Immediately I needed to push and Emilia arrived within 10 mins! We had been at the hospital 20 mins in total!
There was no time for drugs, but while at home I had lots of hugs, kisses and a hot water bottle. Remembering 'UFO' I stood up for all surges, but towards the end, moved to my knees using the sofa for support.
The first moment that I saw Emilia I felt relieved and elated!! She was ten days early and looked so tiny, yet perfect. Being in the pool and holding her skin to skin in the water was the most amazing feeling. I have never felt so much elation.
The whole experience genuinely felt amazing for both David and I.
The first day, we were still on a high from the whole experience and it took a few days before we came down to earth and settled into a new normal. Following what we had learnt in the classes, breast feeding feels easier this time and David helped by checking the latch from his angle, according to the advice we were given. We also took the advice on sharing the bonding, where I feed her and David does the winding.
She sleeps better than I had expected, only waking every 4 hours for a feed, so we try and rest as much as we can in between. I feel I am recovering quite well. I was lucky not to tear which has made recovery easier too. We took the advice on visitors in the early days too, taking time to just settle.
Becoming a Mum again has been far better than I imagined. I am definitely more patient and kinder to myself this time. For David, becoming a Dad has been an amazing experience, life-changing in a good way. He has become very calm since her birth and provided amazing support for us all. I was concerned about the 10 year age gap between Emilia and my son Ryan, but he loves being with her and helps out a lot.
The guides and references provided by HPHB have really helped as something to refer back to as well. Since having Emilia, I have referred back a few times.
I would definitely recommend the Happy Parents. Happy Baby. courses. Every single time. Being second time around, I knew what to expect and thought that I had to accept what was going to happen, but I was keen to book a course for David so he would know what to expect. Although, I did want to know more about hypnobirthing and to learn some coping techniques. In actual fact, I learnt a lot about how I could make birth a positive experience as well as how to cope post-birth with feeding, emotions etc. and David that he can provide far more support in the process than both of us realised.
HPHB seemed to provide the best value for money with the hyponobirthing and first aid both included. The course itself by far exceeded our expectations. What we got in return was honest information from medical professionals that work in the field in their normal day to day. In each session, the medical experts provided their own life and work experiences, with all questions answered truthfully, dispelling myths and providing statistics where appropriate.
Top Tips:
Prepare for the birth that you want. Practise the breathing techniques and movements so you know what to do when the time comes
Be kind to yourself. Some days will be more difficult than others, for no real reason, just because, so don't be afraid to ask for help
Have a plan A, B and C for everything. Birth, feeding, house cleaning, cooking etc. If you get to plan C, you are still winning
Take the time to just hug your baby
They change so quickly, so take lots of photos
You can never have too many muslins
Incopads will save the life of many a changing mat!
